Blog Details

Parents: A Lifelong Coach
Parenting

Parents: A Lifelong Coach

  • 06/Jul/2021

The greatest gift a parent can give to his children are roots. As a life coach, we can help our children to make, meet and exceed goals in their lives. In order to groom our children to turn out well, we need to spend half the money and double the time on them. It is less painful to learn in childhood than remain ignorant as an adult. Don’t be a poor Role Model for your child: During their formative years, children look up to their elders in position of influence. Children who are taught the importance of Integrity during their formative years generally don’t lose it, but when they see their parents are cheating with pride or bragging about petty dishonesty, they are disappointed and lose respect for their parents. Seek first to understand, then to be understood: When another person speaks, we usually see four types of listeners: Ignorers (who is ignoring everything), Pretenders (who pretend that they are listening but actually not), Selective listeners (who listen only that much part that suits to them) and Attentive listeners (who listen each word attentively). But very few of us fall in the category of “Empathic Listeners”, the highest form of listening. Which is based on the principle of effective interpersonal communication “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”? We heard from many parents that “I don’t understand my child. He never wants to listen to me.” We fail to understand because we seek first to be understood. We are filled with our own rightness and our own autobiographies. We don’t listen them with the intent to understand rather we listen them with intent to reply. We need to realize that to understand them, we have to listen them. To make a strong interpersonal relationship with our kids, we need to follow the principle “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”. Discipline gives freedom There is a misconception that freedom means doing your own things. Rather than the restraints of discipline pulling us down, discipline means to really taking us up. A boy was flying a kite with his father and asked him what kept the kite up. Dad replied, “The String”. The boy said in disagreement that it is the string that is holding the kite down. The father asked his son to watch as he broke the string. We all can guess that the kite must have come down. Isn’t that true in real life? Nowadays the philosophy of the many parents is: “If it feels good, do it”. I have heard parents innocently saying, “I don’t care what my kids do as long it makes them happy.” I would like to ask them if beating people up on the road makes your child happy then even you won’t care? Another ubiquitous statement we keep hearing “Do what you like”. The reverse “Like what you do” is also true. Many times we need to do what ought to be done whether we like it or not? A working lady (who recently became a mother), after a long day’s work, takes care of the household chores, looks after the baby, and goes to sleep exhausted. In the middle of night, the baby cries. Does the mother like getting up? No, but she gets up anyway why? For three reasons: Love, Duty, and Responsibility. Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness Gratitude is not a feeling; it is a state of mind that can be developed. Grateful children tend to be happier, more optimistic, and have better social support. They use their strengths to improve their communities, remain more engaged in their schoolwork, hobbies and score better grades. They are also seen to be less envious, depressed, and materialistic than their less grateful counterparts. Being a parent, we should teach our kids to express gratitude to each and every one. Parenting is really a complicated job. We have to change our approach according to the child. But if you practice above, it surely will make your ward positive and stronger to face challenges in his life. Amit Kumar Trivedi Asstt. Teacher Lucknow Public College Sahara States, Jankipuram, Lucknow